Coping Techniques Part 2 - Awareness
If you’re anything like me - and I’m assuming you are - you can spot a meltdown in your kid a mile away. Maybe this placement has only been with you for a month, but still, when they get a certain look in their eyes you know that it’s time to get their weighted blanket ready, or suggest they take some calming breaths.
Why are we so good at this for our kids, but horrible at it for ourselves.
Everybody has cues, including you. I guarantee that your family knows what yours are.
Mine is anger….red, hot, fiery anger. Easily identifiable… one minute I feel normal, the next minute I’m yelling at a kid about something insignificant.
Harder to notice, but equally as important of a cue, is disoriented thinking or ruminating thoughts. If I can’t create a list in my head about what I’m supposed to do next. Or, I can’t seem to stop going over and over a conversation, relationship, behavior issue in the house.. It’s a cue.
What about you? What are your cues?
Anxious thinking? Yelling? Emotional eating? Binge scrolling your social media feeds?
Awareness helps us name the feeling, and meet the need. I’m not a doctor - or a therapist - but I’m going to tell you that from my personal experience, awareness also helps point us in the direction of which particular coping skill we need when we need it. The importance of a full toolbox of coping skills should not be underestimated here… and you’ll find, I’m pretty liberal with what counts as a coping skill…. And you have permission to be too.
For instance, an ice cold Diet Coke and a bag of peanut M&M’s communicates safety to me in a way that I would struggle to explain, especially if they’re handed to me by a trusted friend who came over to sit on my couch and just talk through life.
You probably never read this in posts about coping skills - but, I highly endorse a little bit of retail therapy. I give it a solid two thumbs up if it solves actual problems in your world. Like - maybe you’re totally freaking out about an upcoming court date, and you turn to retail therapy as the coping skill of choice … if you swipe that card for a new bath mat because you’ve been using an old towel for the past 3 months since your kid smeared unmentionables all over your old one… that counts as not just ONE form of coping skills, but TWO… controlling what you can control (we’ll get to that in another post) and retail therapy. Heck yes!
My point is this… awareness is the first step: I’m overwhelmed. I’m stressed. I’m feeling ______
Step two: I need ________ (to move my body, to solve a physical problem, to talk…)
Step three: Find a way to make that happen in a way that feels healthy to you.
The other side of this coin, that stands on its own but goes hand in hand with awareness, is creating rituals of caring for your soul. We’ll talk about that next.
