Coping Techniques Part 1
If I’ve heard it once, I’ve heard it 1,000 times in the past 6 years. I try to explain a behavior that we’re experiencing in our home and some kind soul - trying very much to relate - tells me that “oh, that’s normal… every child throws a fit every once in a while”. And while, yes, that is technically true…you and I know that a neurotypical child throwing a temper tantrum will eventually end. Meanwhile, what we’re talking about is an episode that lasts for hours ad nauseam, at level 10, where fight/flight/freeze is heavily activated - their very survival feels like it's at risk - and nothing will work until pure exhaustion kicks in.
It feels like comparing Little League baseball to the major leagues. Yes, it’s still baseball - but we’re playing in totally different ballparks.
In the same way, when we’re stressed - we might scoff at the suggestion of better coping skills.
Forgive the many baseball analogies (my son is obsessed), but what’s true in Little League is even more true in the Majors.
If it’s important to know how to manage our stress in regular life - it’s even more important to know how to regulate our own nervous systems when we’re responsible for co-regulating children who have experienced trauma.
To that end, we’re going to start a series of blog posts with suggestions of how to incorporate coping skills into your daily life - creating tools that you can reach for when you feel overwhelmed. Each post will have one or two - tried and true coping skills and if you could do me one little favor… in addition to rolling your eyes at the suggestion, maybe try one?
Along the way, ask your body what resonates - it’ll tell you… and then create space to begin adding that strategy to your daily, or weekly routine.
And, listen - you’re in good company. Everybody struggles with this - perfection is never the goal. What we’re looking for is incremental steps towards a healthier you… which leads towards a healthier home. The coping skills I’m going to share are ones that have helped me in my hardest seasons, and my hope is that they help you too.
